Someone once told me I live in a nice new apartment in my hometown this is only a half-truth. My life is a fucking lie and I hate it. It's all because I got horny on main and abandoned my friend 2 years ago. I would have had the best time in the world but I couldn't and all because of some bitch named Gen.
After I broke up with Alyssa I got bored and gained a clingy girlfriend named Gen and she kept texting me and calling me and annoying me. I lost my interest in her after days. And she wanted to get married and I lied to her that I wanted to get married. One day her stupid degenerate ass ate a key. She felt stupid but she broke up. I broke up with her but she still stalks me to this day. After this and you can't make this up I became so stressed,cold, and rickety that I got horny on main and my friend caught me. He got so mad at me that I had to block him. I felt dead to myself. All those times I pretended to be sad in Ventura I never thought I be so sad, so tarnished, so humiliated. SO DEAD and so Afraid!
I felt so physically sick by the time this happened. There where Migrains in my head, my back began to hurt, I felt like there was a scratching in my throat, knots in my stomach, knots in my my muscles. I never felt more disabled than what I did to myself. I became incredibly profoundly addicted to my computer. I had no mental health. I felt numb.
By the time I cut ties with my friend everything seemed to go back to normal for everyone else. Elon Musk was head of Twitter, Corona Virus diminished, Kiwifarms was being shut down with all their Nazi friends, and Elden Ring came out.
I was this close to healing from all my problems from 2016 to 2021 but then THAT happened. I was going to be a star. I was going to be myself again. Fox fursona and everything. I was going to be like nothing you've ever seen before. The best version of me. I could have been with my best friend. We would have enjoyed ChatGPT together. He could have critiqued my art and made it better. We could have made cartoons together!
But no, I had to be afraid my whole life. No, I had to keep pornographic pictures of myself AND distribute them online when life was just about to get better but also SO MUCH WORSE.
I never thought I miss living in Ventura because there it would never happened. I miss the charming nights of main street. How youth was fleeting yet it was so colorful and alive,
The ocean breeze
The sunsets
The chaparel hills,The tense cold nights
Dancing to music, The open apartments full of young
Living in Ventura was like living in a movie set
It will never be the same.
Now a days you could say it's better. But it simply not
I live in a large apartment
With warmth and heat everywhere
I have food all I need
But it's missing a heart
missing a soul
I walk these cramped corridors
Halls filled with sensitive ears that cannot hear
The old care about my life style but not care for it
Nowadays I am super busy pretending I work for a living
How I miss you Ventura. I was so ungrateful for everything.
This was the lie of coming back to my hometown.
